


in the shadow of your heart

by troiing



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Mass Effect 2: Lair of the Shadow Broker, Mind Meld, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:28:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27809869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troiing/pseuds/troiing
Summary: Aboard the Normandy, after the Shadow Broker's defeat.
Relationships: Female Shepard/Liara T'Soni, Shepard/Liara T'Soni
Comments: 7
Kudos: 86





	in the shadow of your heart

**Author's Note:**

> I was delving through my documents and found this complete fic, last updated over 3 years ago. And honestly? I might change some things towards the end if did it again but i really don't know why i didn't post it then. So, belatedly...
> 
> This fic was meant to play around with the nature of the asari mind meld, and obviously to have some fun with Femshep and Liara. I watched the farewell at the end over and over again though, and I couldn’t reconcile the idea that there wouldn’t be some kind of heart-to-heart or something while they were in Shep’s cabin; that goodbye is just so damn melancholy. So this kind of ended up taking a surprise angsty turn at the end, but it does what I feel might have happened after the fade to black, and uh… I guess I hope you enjoy the weird writing style that came out of the meld. Haha.
> 
> Assumptions: loyal Shepard

The meld happens quickly: one moment, they're teasing, discussing the future; the next, Shepard tugs her in close, so close, and Liara gasps. Liara’s mind collides with Shepard’s, and all the want in the galaxy burns behind that breath.

Shepard reels a little, pressing her fingertips more firmly into Liara’s hips, but growls her pleasure. Liara has always asked before, has never wanted to intrude; although the unconscious act surprises both of them, tinging the edge of Liara's emotions with guilt, Shepard is quick to assuage any doubt.

Nuzzling her way into the crook of Liara's neck, she shifts her grip. “That was easy,” Shepard says, teasing, and the electricity buzzes through them.

Liara pushes her hips more firmly into Shepard’s body, exhaling shakily. “I… I haven't…”

Although Liara falls silent, the thoughts are there, skimming the surface of their shared consciousness. In two years, she hasn't taken another lover. _Couldn't_ take one, so long as there was any chance… _Any chance_...

Shepard can't hide or suppress her confused doubt. _No_ other lovers? Not when their own relationship had hardly begun? And, unbidden, but equally without judgment: not even in pursuit of higher standing in Nos Astra? Not…?

_Of course not._ Liara’s reply comes swiftly, accompanied by a light, scoffing “ _tch_.” _Shepard_ is hers… And she always had it in her to be a _very_ good information broker.

Shepard laughs, only peripherally aware that she has unzipped Liara's dress. Her hands frame the slender waist again as their cheeks touch. They breathe in tandem.

“Sorry,” Shepard whispers, and an endearing trace of embarrassment stretches out in their minds - embarrassment at the doubt, and at the question that she never would have asked aloud. Push and pull as Shepard might, two years is two years. Besides that, Liara isn't exactly the type to sleep her way to the top.

But there's a gentle thrum in the link between them, stronger than the fluster, like a silent laugh. Shepard drags her teeth along Liara's neck, and the wavelengths shorten to a hum of pleasure and want reverberating in the back of her skull.

Liara has Shepard's uniform open, fingers tangled in her undershirt, knuckles pressed into her abdomen. She shifts her weight absently, hips twisting to aid Shepard as the commander pushes her dress to the floor.

“You're so beautiful,” Shepard breathes.

“I missed you.”

Shepard’s hands coast along the swell of Liara's hips, and the friction tingles along her own sides. There’s an understanding between them: Shepard missed Liara too, but Liara had so much more to miss. Two years. Two years of - 

The thought stops when Liara closes her teeth over Shepard’s lip, tugging softly, pushing the jacket off of her shoulders.

“Yeah,” Shepard says lamely, but she can’t think of anything else _to_ say. They’re together now. Relief that Liara is still _hers_ is the best thing she can project.

Liara takes that in, clinging to it as she presses in for a kiss. Their teeth clack together when she rocks her body forward, hands underneath Shepard’s shirt.

Shepard guides Liara towards the bed, hands trailing down to her thighs. At its edge, she lifts Liara up, then follows her swiftly into the bed. A nip to her breastbone, then the lingering scrape of her teeth, and Liara's gasp falls like a song. 

_“Shepard.”_

Kneading her hip, Shepard lowers her kisses to Liara's thigh in a slow, agonizing trail.

“You’re really gonna stay?” Shepard asks with her fingers splayed across the underside of Liara’s thigh, and she means: _you’re really gonna stay behind?_

Liara is silent, but her thoughts are insistent. _I have to. For you, for me, for the galaxy. I have to. I have -_

They’re swallowed up in kisses, in touch, but an undeniable pang of sadness, of want, festers or blossoms - it’s unclear which - right there in the room. Intangible. Invisible. But present. Liara might cry.

_Okay. Okay. Okay,_ resounds, offsetting the beat of their hearts, punctuated by kisses that start hard and grow softer. Shepard takes a little tender skin into her teeth, then sucks out a bruise onto Liara’s thigh. Liara cries out, and Shepard groans at the sensation echoing through her own skin. Lavishing the bruise with caresses, Shepard remembers something. Violet petals wet with dew. “ _Azure_ , huh?”

Liara laughs aloud, and Shepard’s whole being hums with surprised pleasure. Liara is embarrassed. Hearts beat double-time.

“Stop it!”

_Or what?_ Shepard can’t quite ask aloud, but she sinks down, lifting her eyes towards Liara’s face.

She doesn’t even think it outright, but _stasis_ comes to mind. Shepard snorts; Liara squeals.

Shepard slinks up Liara’s body at that, a wicked grin on her face. “ _Naughty,_ ” she growls, and kisses her soundly.

A little pressure at the back of her head, pressure Shepard hadn’t really noticed before, is relieved when she drags Liara bodily around to top her. Half an apology forms in her mind for tossing her asari lover into the bed crests-down, but the discomfort is nominal at best, and Liara brushes the apology away before it’s fully formed.

After all, dragging Shepard the rest of the way out of her clothing is much more interesting.

The boots present a problem, and Liara fusses with them in good-humored irritation until Shepard can help kick them off. Human clothing! Asari - commandos in particular - had more buckles than you could shake a fist at, but all those _laces_!

Shepard laughs at Liara’s perplexity as she bends her knees, sitting upright to wrap her arms tightly around Liara’s waist and shower her breast with kisses.

Shepard remembers Liara's breasts being somewhat smaller last time.

Does she now? 

Not that she minds at all. They are exceptionally nice breasts.

Shepard’s tongue teases at the pebbled ring of her areola, and Liara tilts her hips into Shepard’s body, straining against her arms.

“ _Goddess._ ”

Liara twists, freeing herself from Shepard’s hold, creating enough space between them to move her hand between their bodies. Shepard’s head falls back, lips parted, when Liara curls her fingers into her. With Shepard’s fingers hard against her waist, her backside, her thighs, Liara nibbles at the hollow of Shepard’s neck.

God, that’s good.

Words escape them, and they float instead in their shared consciousness, navigating muddled pleasure signals and quiet gasps. There’s a spot just below Liara’s ribs that makes Shepard’s entire body tingle in a shadow of her lover’s desire; Liara resorts to pressing her forehead hard into Shepard’s shoulder as the woman’s need reflects in her own body.

Finally, Shepard’s grip falters, nails digging into the small of Liara’s back. Liara gasps; the orgasm buzzes between them. It’s loud, _loud_ , humming in the backs of their skulls. Liara hooks a finger hard across the seat of her pleasure again and Shepard yelps, twisting away a little. Liara makes a noise somewhere between a squeal and a laugh at the sensation and Shepard’s reaction.

“You - ” Shepard gasps, and the chaotic scramble of thought and feeling elevates.

Eyes still black as coal, Liara’s lips twist into a vague and wicked grin. “Too much?” She breathes the question even as her hips twitch at the pulse of them. Everything is hot and heavy and shrouded in desire.

“You are.”

The hard nip to the edge of her breast makes Liara dig her fingernails sharply into Shepard’s shoulders.

“Me?” she asks, head swimming with discomfort and the hot pulse of want. The lighter thrill of Shepard’s pleasure. The still softer undercurrent of playful contentment.

Shepard’s hands are hard on her backside, then her thighs, using her own legs as leverage as she pulls Liara forward and lays back in the bed. “Come here.”

_What?_ Liara asks but doesn’t ask, coming to all fours over Shepard’s body.

Shepard, drowning in her. This is her best interpretation of the commands the woman does not give. Pleasant and not pleasant. Or at least, not seemingly so, not to Liara. Her fingers twist into the sheets at either side of Shepard’s body, resisting, confused.

_What_ is she doing?

Preparing to fuck Liara senseless, that’s what.

Shepard lifts her head, capturing a hard nipple between her lips before dropping down to the bed again.

_But from there_? is the muddled thought that returns to her, riding on the wave of heat and the sharp intake of breath.

Shepard can’t honestly tell her that’s something they do outside of those awful vids.

Shepard stifles her laugh, but Liara can feel it. She flushes a little at the good-natured needling, though she knows it’s not a judgment.

“ _Yes,_ ” Shepard says aloud, but her thoughts say something more like: _Watch me._

Liara shivers at the challenge. Reassurance meets confusion, then both feelings shift and coalesce into eager curiosity in the shared consciousness of the bond.

Shepard meets her halfway: wriggles, undignified, between her lover’s legs as Liara shifts. Liara is _close_ , so close already, thanks to the earlier attention and Shepard’s orgasm. When Shepard wraps her arms around Liara’s body, cupping her breasts, she clasps her hands over Shepard’s roving fingers and her body buckles, toes curling in the sheets. Her grip goes desperate as she tries to keep her balance, every inch of her shivering with effort and want as she adjusts to the new position and sensations, but Shepard wastes no time. Tongue, teeth, lips, breath, _tongue_ \- goddess damn Shepard’s tongue.

_See?_

Back bent, fingers fisted in the bedding again, Liara finds some semblance of balance. She grits her teeth and rolls her hips forward, withholding the sound that forms in the back of her throat.

Shepard’s getting cocky.

Shepard rumbles out a breath of laughter in response to that thought, vibrating into her, through her, sending the link between them into ripples and waves again, high tide on a rocky shore. Liara’s voice hitches as she exhales, and Shepard’s fingers dig into her burning thighs.

When Liara’s body tenses, all of her curled into a perfect, paralyzed arc, blue-white light and the tide of her pleasure swallow them up. Shepard shatters with her, back arching at the sheer force of Liara’s orgasm and the stars scattered across her vision. The keening sound is all Liara’s but it feels like both of them together: one body, one trembling mass wound too tight, one voice breaking like glass in one throat. The waves break again and again and again when Shepard does not stop. There’s no semblance of rhythm, no order: only clenched knuckles and uncertain breaths and the minute, desperate buck of Liara’s hips as they come crashing down together in the undertow.

Liara continues to tremble for a long time in the aftermath, weak and unsure, and Shepard kisses her thigh softly, breath hot and ragged on her skin.

Shepard’s content and humored. That quiet hum of laughter that isn’t laughter is there again, and Liara clings to the meld, to Shepard, when her fingers finally find the traction to push herself up and away. She rolls to her side bonelessly, black eyes fixed on Shepard’s, and Shepard kisses her soundly.

_Good. That was good,_ Shepard thinks, softening the kiss a little, and a little more, fingers tracing Liara’s jaw.

_Yes,_ Liara agrees, and neither of them bother to mention that _good_ is such a terrible understatement because language itself is unnecessary and inconsequential in the wake of such pulsing, ringing pleasure, such unbridled affection. Shepard’s mouth is too sweet, too salty, too much of everything. Liara locks her teeth over Shepard’s lip, nursing the earthy brine from her mouth as her breath and pulse slow.

But both quicken again, unexpectedly, as something heaves up inside her, something dark and sorrowful and unbidden. It happens over the course of a mere few heartbeats. Liara jerks away, the thrill of orgasm giving way to the sadness and so many other things patiently bubbling beneath the surface of her pleasure. Now they find her, raw and fragile and yielding, and she is powerless to stop them.

When the concern enters Shepard’s thoughts, Liara closes the link between their minds down with force, and her eyes, blue and bright and sorrowful, fill with tears.

“Hey,” Shepard says, staring at her in shock, fumbling desperately through her own mind. She feels empty and naked without Liara’s presence, stripped of a part of herself and helpless to defend Liara against the emotions she suddenly cannot see and feel for herself. “Liara.” Her name, spoken aloud, seems strange on Shepard’s tongue now. Liara is so much more than a few spoken syllables. More than a few tears.

Maneuvering to wrap her arms around Liara, Shepard draws in close, nestling her face in Liara’s neck. “It’s okay,” she murmurs softly. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay.” But Liara has not properly cried yet, despite shedding a few tears more than once since the defeat of the Shadow Broker mere hours beforehand. Shepard can hardly blame her, and she doesn’t try to hush her. “Let me see,” she almost whispers, nuzzling Liara’s shoulder.

Liara shakes her head minutely, choking on breaths. “I’m fine,” she insists, muffled and strained. “I - ”

“ _Liara,_ ” Shepard breathes, fingers pressing softly into her skin. “Don’t shut me out again now. Please. Please don’t.”

Liara shivers, and for a moment they’re still. Then there’s the familiar feel of Liara’s mind reaching out. This time, it’s tentative, and the shaky tendrils waver wearily on the edges of Shepard’s consciousness for a moment before their thoughts join.

The whirlwind of thought, of emotion, is almost too much.

_Tired. She’s tired. And Shepard was dead, and Feron gone. And two years in Nos Astra was two years too many, but goddess, how she’d taken to losing herself in all of it. She’d done that willingly, lost herself in the dark beneath Illium’s shining surface, waiting for Cerberus to either succeed or fail on their end of a bad deal. She can’t win for losing. Benezia, then Shepard, then Feron, who she’d barely known at the time but... Two of the three are returned to her, but only after two years of grief, of bitter loneliness. And she hadn’t spoken to Benezia in_ decades _, but… and maybe two years is no time at all when you live for a thousand years, but the time feels stretched and distorted to Liara and - and…_

Liara’s sudden sob is muffled, but loud, helpless. Shepard kisses her eye, her cheek. “I’m here, Li.”

_...and Sekat! She hadn’t expected to regret that, had known that the outcome was worth the price, but… and she’d killed the Shadow Broker, and she has a purpose now, but maybe a purpose isn’t enough. Maybe a purpose is a thousand light years away from being enough, and she hasn’t got a_ damned clue _what she actually needs or wants anymore, except Shepard, and she can’t afford to cling to her, because there’s so much to do and so much more to lose._

_And honestly, she’s_ so tired. _And she hasn’t had a proper cry since the day she saw the damage to Shepard’s body two years ago. And why, why-why-_ why _does she feel like her maiden years are a thing of the distant past, like two, not even three years is stretched to three-hundred, and does Shepard know that for two years, Liara has_ slept _with a kinetic barrier active - when she slept at all? Has she ever been this_ tired?

Shepard presses back, filling her thoughts with understanding, with love and gratitude and as much stillness as she can find within herself. “I’m sorry you had to do it all alone,” she mumbles, drawing Liara’s body all the more fiercely into herself. “I’m here now.”

Their connection breaks off again, and Liara sighs into Shepard’s chest, sniffling. It’s hard to tell how much time passes in the meld, but Liara’s tears are spent again. “I know,” she whispers, pulling away a little.

Shepard lets her go, watching as Liara falls back with her eyes closed.

“Goddess, I… I need to rest.”

“Yeah,” Shepard says quietly, propping herself up on an elbow and using her thumb to brush the wetness from Liara’s cheek.

“I - I’m sorry. That after all this, I had to go and - _blubber_ and - ”

“Liara.” Shepard curls her fingers, wiping the tears away from her other cheek too. “You’re important to me. If you’re hurting…” She trails off, fingers tracing Liara’s jaw, then leans in to kiss her softly. Liara trembles a little at the touch, wrapping her fingers around Shepard’s wrist. “You can come to me if there’s something wrong. I love you. I - I can’t even think about you being alone like that.”

“I - suppose it all turned out in the end,” Liara contemplates, blue eyes flicking up to meet Shepard’s, puffy from tears but hopeful.

“Yeah,” Shepard says, offering a small, reassuring smile. “We can communicate, and you’ll have Feron right there with you. _And_ your weird drone friend.”

Liara manages a small laugh at that, tilting her cheek up and into Shepard’s palm. “I love you too,” she whispers, sliding her fingers up to twine with Shepard’s. “I… I really want you to know that.”

“I do.” Shepard rotates, smoothing Liara’s brow with her thumb. “You’re not going back down there now, are you?” she asks after a pause, though the doubt is obvious in her eyes and voice.

Managing another quiet laugh, Liara shakes her head. She’s exhausted, and it shows; there’s even a tremor in her hands. “I don’t think I could make it. But… soon. I have to.”

“Yeah,” Shepard repeats, freeing her hand from Liara’s. “Come here.”

Liara complies willingly, drawing back into Shepard’s body with a sigh. “I’m going to miss this,” she mumbles as Shepard rests her chin against the top of Liara’s head.

Shepard presses her fingers reassuringly into the asari’s back. “Me too. Get some rest.”

“You’ll wake me if I sleep too long?”

“No promises.”

Liara’s laugh is tremulous, breathy. “Okay.”


End file.
